Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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