Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
