Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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