So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
