Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
