y did u give ur computer a hand job?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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