Can i not drive my cunt home
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
