I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
