Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Michael Bay diarrhea
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
