At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
