Whod you bang
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
