I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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