we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
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