Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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