wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
