Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
