i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
