I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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