i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
