Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize