yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
