Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
