I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
