you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize