She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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