Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
