Are we in a gay sports bar?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
he fucked my hip out of place.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
