Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
