He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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