Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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