I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
