I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize