every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
no you cant smoke seaweed
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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