Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
