He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I puked a lego.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
