tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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