How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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