Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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