I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
What drink are we having for lunch?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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