I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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