Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
