I puked a lego.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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