It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
