omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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