pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize