I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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