i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize