You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
