babies were throwing up all over the place
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
