My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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