He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
