ugly people sure do ruin things
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
