Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize