There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
