I hate all girls vehemently.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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