i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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