dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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