Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
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