Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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