3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
