sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
