My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize