I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
