Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Small penises have feelings too.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
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