between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
