I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
