i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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