Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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