Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
