I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Mom said you looked used
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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