come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
