today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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