when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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